Divine playtime

I’ve been lucky enough recently to spend a bit of time with my nephews (18 and 6 months). I just love how everything is play and everything is so fascinating at that age. I remember not wanting to come in from playing in the evening because I was so absorbed by it, that’s not coming into eat. That’s almost unheard of now!

So I developed an appetite, I developed the teenager’s attitude of knowing everything then I developed the adult attitude of having to pretend to know everything. It’s taken me quite a while to break down that shell and find the inner child again. That’s why I’m proud to say this decade is my misspent 30s.

How does this relate to yoga? Because of course it does! One of the main reasons I practice yoga is that I love it and it’s fun. Simple as, and yet, so easy to forget when one gets caught up with technique and philosophy or just having it on the end of a long to do list. At the end of the day, something brought me to the mat and something takes me back every single day. It’s the biggest, bestest expression of joy that I can give. When I want to honour this I bring it to the mat and play, just like my nephews.

Grooving with Gunas

One of my students this week admitted that when he gets on his mat he may or may not always be 100% on the case, shock. So who can claim to be present every second of the day, mat or no mat? What I find more interesting is the way we can transform our attitude by following our heart.

This is where I start to talk about the gunas. The three qualities of Prakriti (matter) which are present in all things. They're thought of as threads woven together, in varying quantities depending on the situation.  Tamas is related to earthy quality, rooted in the lower Chakras and responsible for the energy we need for rest and contemplation. Rajas is fire, energy, what we need to get us out of bed with a zing in the morning, linking to the mid-Chakras. And Sattva, conscience, when we’re aware of the other qualities and which we need in any given moment, related to the top Chakras.

What I love is the way our yoga practice and therefore, life, is a mirror to this. So often, when we get on our mats it’s the Tamas energy which is prevalent, we’ve just had a long day or just got out of bed and our brain is telling us it really would much prefer to hang out in front of the TV. Ah, so familiar! So it’s my responsibility as teacher to lift that energy, bring in the fire, warm you up and get you pinging again. Then we reach our apex and the energy is high, at this point we begin to initiate more Tamas, bringing the body back to equilibrium, grounding and rooting ready for what’s next. So when we finally come to Savasana the body is ready and willing to take rest, filled with Sattva, which we didn’t even notice we were cultivating all the time.

So we can flip things around both on an off the mat with conscious awareness. It so simple but so not easy. It takes time, dedication and listening to your heart. But it’s so worth it!

Hitting reset

This week I’m learning an enormous amount about my practice and what it means to honour the body. This comes directly from picking up some sort of bug which has taken all my energy and left me feeling like I want to hibernate for a week! Unfortunately the demands of my life aren’t going to let me do that any time soon so I need to tune into my yoginess and do what I can to recuperate within the boundaries I’ve been set.

So I apply the five principals of Anusara yoga. First, I soften and listen to what my body’s telling me. Then I make sure I have all the pills, potions and accouterments I know I’m going to need to make me feel better. Then I create as much space as I can, clear the diary throw away my to do list and cut everything back as far as I can. Then I focus on bringing into my body what will nourish and heal the most quickly. And finally, I trust my body that it so knows what it’s doing I can just let it do it’s thing and recover.

I’ve often heard that an illness is a bit like hitting the reset button. There’s something which needs clearing and the body shuts down extraneous systems so that the mind is forced to follow. It’s very cool, imagine what would happen if we just kept on and on, at some point we’d crash big stylee. I’m grateful for these little pauses, it’s a reminder of the intelligence of the body.

Rooting to rise

I’ve started to study the chakras in more depth this month, with the intention of really understanding how they work together to help us expand our consciousness more deeply. What’s really struck me as I begin this adventure is the idea that the chakras aren’t a ladder which we ascend and move on to the next level. I think this is a very human idea, the idea of completing one thing and moving on to the next. The reality is that we’re always rooted in what went before. And that’s a good think, it keeps us safe and grounded. It’s akin to not forgetting our past as we move forward into the future. Infact, something close to my heart is the way we choose to live our lives from this second on is in honour of what has gone before.

So as I move up through the chakras, it’s with an understanding that it all starts with the root, the muladhara chakra and that’s what roots me, literally with gravity. Additionally, the chakras are all interrelated, the opening or closing of one affects the others. I’ve already begun to notice how, when I’m unbalanced it can be traced back to one of the chakras and therefore, what steps I can take to bring them back into balance. It’s all very exciting and I can’t wait to learn more!

Taking just a moment

I was asked recently to consider how hatha yoga has affected my life in the last year. I was  overwhelmed by how many things I came up with, how they simply tumbled out of my brain and onto the paper. Looking at the list, it’s obvious that yoga has affected every facet of my life from relationships, to diet to just feeling better being me. I often have the thought during the day: if the last twelve months have been so amazing, what are the next twelve months going to be like! I’m torn between wanting to fast forward and see and want to relish every moment. This picture was taken at the ending of one immersion last year and the beginning of another, it was a very expansive time for me.

What I really focused on, however, in this contemplation is what I ended up terming “mental fitness”. Which I would define as the ability to pick yourself and dust yourself off when you’ve been buffeted in some way. It’s not like yoga lets me live in a bubble where I’m floating in bliss. If I were, how would I know what bliss is and I’d miss out on all the gratitude that goes with that knowledge. Another discussion, but I definately live in the world and definately succumb to some of the less pleasant sides of my personality, especially when the stress levels kick up a notch.

What I’m really talking about is the process I now go through when times are tough. Rather than reacting straight away and going with whatever my brain is telling me there’s a moment of “ah, I know what my brain’s going to do here”. OK, it doesn’t always happen in the moment, but my heart gets around to tugging on my mind at some point and having a word. From that there’s an acceptance and a willingness to consider the situation and to try and expand within it. That never used to happen, I was all “that’s gone now, let’s move on”. However, I think this moment of consideration is crucial, there was a lesson there, now what do I need to learn? It’s the balance between being easy on yourself and asking difficult questions of yourself and being willing to do the work for next time.

It’s sweet and it’s what gets me on my mat because this is how I want to live my life.

Honour and trust

We had a heavy rainstorm a couple of weeks ago which lead me to reflect on how a change in weather can change our mood and perhaps, in this case, be an opportunity to clear away some stuff which I’d been ignoring while the sunshine is out. I’m always grateful for these kind of changes, yes, even sun to rain as it allows me the opportunity to reconnect with what’s happening around me, rather than simply go with my will. This doesn’t mean that my practice is any less intense, when I get on the mat I mean it. However, I can mean it in different ways, ways which respect the cycle of nature and my own body’s cycles.

Of course, it takes time to understand what it is exactly your body needs and wants and not for it to be overtaken by the thinking minds: ifs, coulds, shoulds. However, what I’ve found is that when I actually honour these cycles, far from being diminished or held back (which is my usual reason for wanting to plow forward) my body is so much happier that my practice seems to take care of itself without my interference. Of course, this is trial and error and there’s a sense of trust and learning through playing. That’s the joy, that’s when we allow ourselves to be held by grace that’s when we get the bliss, ananda.

Seeing spirals

So I feel like one group of students are ready to hear about the spirals. These are part of the secondary Universal Principals of Alignment in Anusara yoga. At the same time I’ve also been reading about how spirals are everywhere around us: our digestive system, the way a plant grows, hurricanes, water going down a plug hole.

I guess it’s not a great leap from there to start to see that the actions of our arms and legs are something of a spiral too. When I was learning this stuff (I still am) it was always easier to consider inner and outer spirals as expanding and contracting. It kind of made more sense at the time. Expanding, or Inner Spiral comes first. A bit like checking unraveling and unkinking a hose before you turn the water on. In simple terms, you create space either by widening the pelvis or upper back. This makes your back happy at both ends, then comes outer. or contracting spiral. So you’re containing the Shakti (energy) within your body. You’re need it spiritual warriors.

So the theory, as usual in Anusara is simple. What’s hard is applying that in a pose when either leg, arm or both are being pulled towards expansion or contraction. We’ll see, we’ll play with the good ole blocks and if nothing else, we’ll laugh at my duck waddling impressions.

The weighty one

I did a couple of workshops with Ross Rayburn last month; one of his key themes was to get heavy in our poses. The main effect of this was that we had about an hour and a half to get some lunch and take a 10 minute walk to the second part of the workshop. We were late. The message of heaviness definitely had an effect.

One of the definitions of Guru is the weighty one. So by getting heavy in our poses we are invoking the Guru within and I’ve found that this makes us much more aware of how we move through poses. They then are no longer become something to tick off your to do list but a delicious moment to be savoured.

The cool thing is that practicing in this way gets taken off the mat and you become much more aware of everything which is going on around you. When we were mid-way through our workshop we were far more interested in what each other had to say, knowing that we wouldn’t see each other again for a while. OK, it made us a bit late which isn’t great Adhikara (studentship) but that’s a subject for another post and to be honest, Ross only has himself to blame for being such a great teacher ;)

Rocking with the Kula

I got a super hit of Prana Shakti last night when I had the privilege of meeting up with my colleague Chris before going to our great teacher, Bridget’s class. It’s so special to arrive in a place and see so many welcoming faces. On top of that, I got to rock out in some yoga moves, so I was super happy.

This has kind of become my theme for the moment and I’m constantly contemplating how we can connect even when we’re not together. It used to scare me a lot when something ended that I’d never get that great feeling back again. What I’m learning is that every experience is valid and appropriate, wherever, we are. So we ride the difficulties with as much equanimity as we can muster which helps us appreciate the sweet times so much more.

My own practice is very important to me. I love going to classes, workshops and trainings and I definitely won’t be stopping that any time soon. For me being with my teachers, my practice and teaching are a fantastic triad which support each other, in a fantastically expansive way.

Yet, there’s a quiet contemplation which comes from following your own body and moving with that you can’t get when your with others. But here’s the triad full circle: I’ve found that my own practice connects me back to my teachers, which makes me happy which makes me raise my teaching game. This happens every time I plug in J

Getting a lift from the Kula

So I really didn't want to practice yesterday. I came up with my favourite excuse of all time: I'm wearing my jeans. Bearing in mind I was in my house at the time which does include a fully loaded wardrobe. Never fear, I did eventually get on my mat but it did involve an hour of faffing around, finding out what the birds in the garden were doing, whether anyone had texted me. You know the thing.

One thing I also did was to update my Facebook status: Please can someone kick my butt onto my yoga mat. My dear friend dutifully obliged and as he's approaching 7ft I thought it best to pay attention. It worked, my mat was unfurled, then my practice was for my friend and became some much more than a series of poses, it becomes a connection to you and your community.

Kula, or community, is a big deal in Anusara yoga. It's not a passive thing, it's active and passionate and it's one of the things I love most about Anusara. Yes, I know I say that all the time but it really is! I love the fact that my teachers have shown me this path then got out of my way to let me stumble down it myself, only to know that if I shout out there'll be a chorus of responses. It's making me well up just thinking about it now. Really, it is.

There's been too many occasions to count when I've needed something, asked for help and it's been there, unconditionally and fast as lightening. To be supported in that way just means I want to shine my light even brighter. It's why I say a big fat THANK YOU to the universe every day!

Karmarama

I have a close friend who always asks me about yoga. He's genuinely interested and because I'm a total dork I can't help but plough forth with a massive spiel on whatever question I'm being asked about. Recently I've begun to rib him about actually getting on a mat and finding out for himself.

Then I realise I do this ALL the time myself. Find an excuse not to practice. We all do and I've long since stopped beating myself up about it. That only ends up with me taking a longer time to get back on the bandwagon. It's an interesting conundrum though, why do we resist so strongly the things which our hearts yearn for?

I certainly don't have an answer, it's just a pattern I notice in myself and a pretty strong one in others. What's interesting though is that is happens whatever your practice is, whether you're a fresh faced yogi or a seasoned practitioner with decades on the mat, there's often a "I don't do this well enough" comment on the cards. It's what the Tantrikas would call Karma Mala, the feeling of not being able to accomplish actions. Yes, the Yogis of the early Common Era had massive to do lists which they found overwhelming too.

So what to do? Flip over the coin and see  the other side of Karma Mala. Seeing what you can accomplish and where you already are. Here's the thing: if we didn't feel a little Karma Malic occasionally where would our passion come from? In a lot of ways we need it, so we can move forward. The trick is to be objective about it. The fact you're aware is pretty amazing, carry on with that line of enquiry, get on your mat, set yourself goals then let them go. Do it all with a smile on your face, it will change your life!

The light within and without

The last few weeks I’ve spent a lot of time contemplating teachers and the impact they have on our yoga practice and lives. There are also super interesting symmetries between one of the meanings of guru (the weighty one) and the Anusara opening invocation.

What this is leading me to is that on some level everything is a teacher. Something I’ve known intellectually for a long time and links back to my previous post of simply acknowledging you don’t know and moving from there. However, when everything gets turned on its head and you feel buffeted by life, how do you find centre? I don’t have an answer other than moments on and off the mat where we see ourselves and can reflect are moments which lead us to a greater understanding of ourselves and our response to the world. Then maybe, just maybe, we can respond in the highest.

For me, teaching then completes the circle. Somehow simply practicing and taking on these great teachings is a great spiritual goal and you’re definitely going to see shifts and changes, positive (just to be clear) in your life if you practice in this way. There is something totally profound about putting yourself back in the dark, by adding a new dimension to your practice to illuminate it even more brightly. Then again, if you’re showing up on your mats, that’s amazing to me. Even if you’re not, it’s still pretty cool. Our teachers, in whatever form hold up a mirror for us, whatever you see is impermanent and changeable. I try to move from that knowledge.

I heart Shakespeare

As I take time to process everything I learnt with Ross last week I find myself filled with such gratitude for these teachings and the profound way they can make shifts in an instant. There are a few themes coming through, which I’ll be savouring and exploring over the next few weeks, months, years, decades.

However, there’s a quote from Hamlet which keeps arising which keeps coming up for me. I’m a total Shakespeare geek, almost to the same extent as I’m a yoga geek, I just love the poetry and am constantly blown away by how relevant the words are today and how much the characters resonate. So the quote which keeps coming up goes:

Hamlet: ...There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,

Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Hamlet Act 1, scene 5, 159–167

Or, to put it another way: I don’t know. There is such freedom in these words. Somehow, when I started letting go of the assumption that I needed to know everything my capacity for learning took off. Coming at everything with a fresh pair of eyes, a new perspective opens all kinds of doors and makes everything possible. It’s very, very exciting.

Building up to flying!

My first Anusara teacher’s last class in the UK was a sad one. I didn’t really know what Anusara was at that point, although I’d been studying with this teacher for several months. I just liked her and her classes made me feel amazing, that’s all I needed right then. The thought of her going was quite terrifying, mainly because I never thought I’d find a teacher like her again. And to be fair only a few have come close but that’s a story for another blog.

During this class, I remember particularly what she said in her opening “We’re going to do arm balances because I want to leave you feeling really strong”. Strong was the exact opposite of how arm balances made me feel at that time. Like a lead weight would be more precise.

What I learnt from that lesson is that arm balances are built up, step by step. You can’t miss a step or you’ll come crashing down. You need to open up the four corners of the body (shoulders and hips), build strength and muscle. There’s usually a little trick involved too, something they don’t tell you in the yoga books, something teeny which rocks your world. Then there’s that final act of surrender, when you’ve put all the building blocks in place you just teeter into balance.

I remember Marc Holzman saying, there’s nothing quite an arm balance for opening you up. They’ll drive you crazy for months, then there’s the moment of exquisite bliss when you find your way into the pose and you know life’s never going to be the same again. That’s why I keep chipping away at them, because there’s nothing quite like that delicious moment between effort and surrender when everything comes together. That’s when you start to fly on and off your mat!

Moving in, finding my light

I struggle with forward bends, I'd much rather be out there in the world bending over backwards (quite literally) for other people. Yet, what I noticed when I was asked to consider what I've got from Hatha yoga in the last year was the massive impact on relationships in my life: with myself, with those around me, with people I come in contact with.

The thing is, when I feel like I'm connected to myself, that's when I'm empowered to go out into the world with confidence and zeal. That's when my inner landscape becomes my outer landscape and I can see the world in a new light, the light which shines within me. So that's why I've set an intention this week to practice forward bends. Because when we fold in on ourselves we reconnect to what is true within us, then we can't help but send it back out. John Friend often uses the analogy that when you light a candle with another candle the first candle doesn't diminish, everything just gets brighter.

So although going into forward bends might not be my favourite thing, they're hard, I need to do a lot of stuff: ground my thighs, power up my legs, inner and outer spiral, be honest with myself about maintaining the integrity of my spine AND BREARH! I know that when I go back into my happy place of backbends I'll be able to maintain the integrity of my own light.

Diving deep to swim in the currents of grace

I've recently come to the realisation that I'm tired of being terrified of new things. OK, well not terrified but sometimes nervous enough that I miss out on some of the experience. Looking back on my notes for my immersions and teacher trainings I find myself thinking: "where exactly was I?".

You only get to experience firsts once and I for one don't want to miss out on it. The way I see it is that if I can be mindful in a situation which has a few other emotions tied up with it, I can enjoy the moment and the more I rest in the moment the more and more I want to be there. It then becomes like a spiral (inner or outer, sorry, Anusara pun), can I see the patterns in life where get tossed and thrown around as simply that, yet still hold my centre and find fresh meaning. Then, if I can see these patterns can I see each an every moment as a gift, something to be seen through a fresh pair of playful eyes. Then I'll truly be swimming in the currents of grace.
So, I'm doing what I usually do. Put it on the mat. Challenging myself in new poses, poses I don't like, can't do. It's an experient and play all rolled into one.

Feeling Full

I love cooking. There's nothing better for me when I go home to get in my kitchen and create something delicious. Last week when I got home I had planned to make a biriyani, so I got out all the ingredients to make sure I had everything I needed. Hunting around I was out of raisins, so searched a bit more and found some apricots which I thought would do just as well. Looking at the ingredients I felt it looked a lacking on the veggie front so threw in some mushrooms. I then got to firing up my stove, pouring in the oil, smelling that delicious aroma as the onion and garlic fried. It was a labour of love but eventually we sat down to eat.
What I realised from this is that I really already had everything I needed. Whether it was recipe perfect or not really doesn't matter. What matters is that I trusted in my own intuition and from that trust I could pour my love into making the meal.

So what has that got to do with yoga? One of the attributes of the divine as defined by the tantric system is Purna. The knowledge that we are complete, full, whole. That we don't need to look outside ourselves, everything is within. That's an exciting feeling but it takes a lot of trust so when I come to my mat and want to embody this quality I go straight for backbends, which get me right out of my negative self doubt and into a full, expansive me.

Try it, it just might work!

Rinsing & Soaking into spring

I love this time of year. The promise of newness, feeling naughty because you're going home when it's still light, the lightness of spirit as the rest of the world lightens. There's something about spring which lets me open up to new possibilities in a way I don't do so much during the rest of the year. I'm reminded of calling my mum a couple of years ago, I could tell she was flustered and there was a lot of noise. I said "what are you doing", the answer, "spring cleaning"...

I was transported back to my youth when every year my mum would turn the house upside down to dust away the cobwebs, throw away the junk and invite the new light in. What really made me worry is that this week I found myself on the floor of the kitchen, cupboards in disarray as I prepared myself for my spring cleanse.

So this has to be fodder for my classes this week. I wanted to welcome the spring and the answer came when I took a YogaGlo class with Marc Holzman this weekend, the theme was different and so inspiring but I loved the focus on twists. The idea of clearing and cleaning can't get any close to the mat than when we practice twists. They're so much fun! So that's what am doing this week, rinsing and soaking, clearing and decluttering so I can let the new light in and the beauty shine out.

Playing the edge

This week my beginner students asked me to review wild thing, a pose I introduced last week as a way to experience Organic Energy. It's a funky pose, which I've always found gives me a lot of freedom to express myself.

You need a few things to get to this place of expression: a melting heart, ability to move the head of your armbones back, power in your feet and legs and the willingness to go somewhat into the unknown.
To get a feeling you can build up a sequence with some shoulderopeners, funky downward facing dogs and backbends. All good, fun poses in their own right.

Where it really gets interesting though is building up a theme around this pose. My theme on this occasion was given to me through Chris Chavez, at a teacher's practice he led last week (THANK YOU CHRIS!) He was talking about "playing the edge", a phrase we use a lot in yoga. When you break it down, to it's consituent parts: play and edge (or boundary is a word I like to describe the heart quality) you get an idea of how it's possible to face a challenge with a sense of childlike enthusiasm and inhibition. We are contained within out body, yet this gives us a way to feel our experience even more profoundly.

So thinking about my own challenging situations of late, I find that by approaching these challenges with an enquiry mind rather than one of aversion I begin to find where the lesson is and what I'm meant to learn from any situation.

What we're really talking about here is what we refer to in Anusara Yoga as the "Optimal Blueprint". This is the place where you're aligned perfectly, where you'll find new openings and from there it just keeps on expanding.