Wednesday 20 July 2011

Seeing the good

Twice in the last day I’ve been asked to give people feedback, it’s really interesting. I’m not someone for whom getting feedback is particularly easy, ok, full disclosure: I really don’t like it. I’m totally working on it, I know it’s not personal, I know these are the lessons which will help me grow, it’s just I don’t like it, I don’t find it easy and a bit part of me wants to go: “la la la, I’m not listening”. However, on the plus side, I think it makes me really good at giving feedback and what’s more, I’ve done an Anusara teaching training so seeing the good goes with the territory.

Seeing the good isn’t blindly saying something nice just because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. It’s looking really hard and finding something good. It’s simple but it’s not easy. It takes practice and I think it starts with you: if you can’t see your own goodness how are you going to see anyone else’s?

What’s cool is that the more you practice the better you get at it, it’s like your mind does a little check off against the five principals:

  • Pause, what’s the complete picture? (Open to Grace)
  • What am I seeing, make a mental list (Muscular Energy)
  • Refining from that list is the most important aspect to communicate right now (Spirals)
  • Where’s the positive (Organic Energy)

Apart from anything else, starting with the positive frames your comments in something constructive. It’s like you’re saying, everything’s fine, now you get to shine eeeeeven brighter, this is me caring enough to consider this and here’s how I want to support you.

Again, another thing I love about Anusara.

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